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About Turin

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that drama, I decide to check out the local shops. I wander down Via Garibaldi, and I spot this vintage store. I’m a sucker for vintage. I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. Old records, funky clothes, and this gnarly lamp that looks like it’s from the ‘70s. I’m digging it. But then, I trip over a box. Classic me, right? I knock over a stack of records. Ugh! The shop owner gives me this death stare. I’m like, “Sorry, man! I’m just trying to vibe with the past!”

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